Yosef on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
Wrote this today. For some reason this feels like a very Mimaamakimish piece...thoughts? (Lines 2-4 feel the weakest to me. Are they unnecessary?) ----------A dancer prays inside their vernacular, not...
View Articleadmin on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
I moved this to the Poetry section.I think its a great Great Poem! I wrote one on the same topic a while ago, (remember that one dena?) but i like yours a lot better. the Rhythm is kind of random, but...
View Articlehillelb on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
yos--i read this now and i think i really get it (i remember you showed it to me a whiles back)...rhythm, i think, is really keen, if you read it as a hip-hop freestylin' poem--it doesn't hesitate to...
View ArticleYosef on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
Here is a very reworked version (comments?):Torso lean (gnarled paean plume (bodied liturgical bloom A dancer prays in her vernacular, silent, sober, biblical (tonguing her umbilical purr her hymns in...
View Articleshlomo on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
its fascinating to see this rework. It makes me wonder: was this what you were going for all along, or did it just morph as you thought about it. Its almost like in the first version it seemed dancing...
View ArticleYosef on "Hitbodedut in the women's foyer - by Yosef"
Shlomo, you're certainly not way off. I think in the latter version I tried to level out the metaphor,make it work both ways, such that neither dance nor prayer are metaphors for the other but are both...
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